My Lord And My God

When I barely knew this world
Or lived this life
You blazed across the sky
Roaring past me,
I cried out in my dream,
To the fiery sky,
"I will serve You!"
I uttered these words
In an unfamiliar language
That is now familiar.
I spoke of a service
That I knew nothing about
But now know well.

Once awake I was charged
With desire that seems strange now.
Aloud I expressed a wish
That came out of nowhere.
"I want to see Jesus,
I want to see Him now!" I said.
Hearing me repeat this wish many a time,
My dear Father, now dead, said,
"You will surely see Him some day."
What strange words issued from the lips
Of a man, who was not even a Christian!
Yet how comforting that thought was!

After that early day in my life,
I walked away from God.
As a young man, with great pride
I revealed to all my disbelief in God.
"Atheist" and "Agnostic" seemed popular labels
To the liberated me.
With what skill and joy I made light of the Lord
That I now worship and adore!
Not many an opportunity for mockery did I spare the Christ,
Not many an expletive did I spare the God
That I now call the Stunner.

That Stunner came back to me
After pain and failure mellowed my thickness.
One day when I turned thirty I said a prayer
And received an answer,
And then I said another, and received another.
And that made me read a book
That seemed totally dull to me till then.
I read the Word, and became another man.
The Stunner emerged in a Testament that was called Old.
Jehovah, the Massive Father,
The greatest and most ardent lover of all emerged
In the most heart-rending of tragedies.
A magnificent lover was so outrageously spurned
By His adulterous sweetheart, His people Israel.
My heart was mastered by that pain then and there.

A most ardent fan of God the Father,
A lover of Christ, and a vessel for the Spirit
I'd like to think I am.
But the struggle has not ended.
The enemy's grip is still strong,
And the Lord seems indifferent at times.
My heart sinks every now and then.
Bur I know that I am a work in progress,
True liberation from sin can be achieved only in physical death.
Nevertheless the heart sinks.

Once when my heart sank, He appeared in a dream again,
Tall and bearded, gigantic in frame,
He strode towards me, as I watched from a tiny window.
And He placed His hand on my forehead,
That sweet and gracious Lord of my heart!
The Bridegroom had finally signalled His interest,
So the bride must act.
But the Spirit must help, or the bride cannot act.
The Spirit and the bride must together say, "Come!"
To the One Who is Lord and God.

-Samuel Godfrey George