The Road To My New Computer

It happened as I had always dreaded. My nine-year-old computer failed, and my work for God came to an abrupt stop. I was expelled into the wilderness indefinitely.

In a time of difficulty you not only discover who your friends really are, but you also discover what you are and how you are perceived by others. In my recent stay in the wilderness, I found out what I turned out to be in the eyes of those who once applauded me, and saw vividly the value that people attached to what I do in the world. Above all I was aware of my own hunger to do more of what I cherish, and I remembered how it all began - that stirring within me. He who stirred then must be still be here now. This helped me go on. And in the end, even as I hung on to hope by a thread, I felt His stirring within me again. And that is why I'm still here.
What mattered to me in difficult times is not what others thought of me, though it always had the potential to distract and cloud my vision. When I began my work, no one counseled me. No one directed my steps as I walked this road to sanity. No one heard my complaints, and no one resolved my doubts. I was all alone with God. And I realized that that is how I should stay. So what was I to do with new advisers and prophets who had come to show me the way? I heard them out and then threw them out. There was not among them even a suggestion worthy of being termed novel, let alone holy. What I saw were dubious beings in the guise of friends, and what I heard were vicious words from Christ-kissed mouths. They did churn within me for a while till I was given the grace to spit them out.
I never lashed out in retaliation, though I could have cut them down with my words. I know the death that lurks in my own tongue. But I have learned from Christ to shun the words of death and decay. I do not respond to devils spiritual or human. I just do not have the inclination. I just speak what God spoke and remind myself of who I am and Who I represent. As His servant, my job is to love and caress even those who try to maim me. When I see them I realize what I could be and what I am not, because of the graciousness of God. And that eases off the burning sensations that remain after the venom of their spite.
Nevertheless there were a few who spoke love and looked like love. And there was one who stood by me and strengthened me with deeds of love. Love on its own imparts strength, but when accompanied by deeds it empowers the recipient. I was empowered by this person's loving deeds to believe in the goodness of God at a time when it seemed improbable. Thanks to him and his family I walk on. God has shown through them and others that I am not without support.
And support was also found in my home. Those who lived with me and those who worked for me rooted for me and desired the continuance of my work on the Internet. Even as I waited patiently and painfully for a new computer, they prayed along with me and encouraged me to somehow make this possible. But how was I to make this possible without God's help? If God will not build my house, it will not be built. And if I should build it, it will not stand. So I waited and took no action. And I said to God, "You started this. You should end this or continue this. I leave it in Your hands."

It happened suddenly. One day I knew that I had enough money to make the down payment for my new computer, if certain people would allow me to do this. I wanted to use household money for this purpose. So I asked the people in my home. They had seen me struggle without a computer for three months that they immediately agreed to what I had in mind. Even a worker of mine agreed to be paid late, for she knew the importance of my work. So I decided to purchase a computer on that very day. But the computer that I was planning to buy was not available. Something more expensive, the one that I silently hoped that God would give to me, was available. A big discount was offered to me on the cost of that computer, and additional warranty worth a lot of money was offered to me free of cost. They even agreed to my request to lower the down payment. Everything came together on that day. And I returned home with my dream laptop and called it "GodInSam" just like I had christened it months ago.

My koel dreams have begun again. My beautiful Lenovo Y510p reminds me of the koel, whose body is black and whose eyes are red. My laptop is black, with a keyboard stunningly back-lit in red. This is a dream that I didn't even dare to dream. And it has come true. And like the koel, determined to sing a persistent song, I am determined to sing again for God a song that has no end.

And did God bless this venture? Did compensate the household money that I risked in buying this computer? Yes He did. A few days later God send me a very big gift that was double the amount that I had risked. And then I knew that God was on my side.

- Samuel Godfrey George