The Question

Even today I ask myself this question: "Is this worth it? Can you go on doing this? What's in it for you?" This is how selfish I am. I just received a response from a friend on Facebook. This was a response to one of my recent videos. She said, "Thank you for the video. It was encouragement that I needed badly." This is why I do this work. I don't know who is touched by this work. I don't know sometimes whether anyone is touched. It is my hope that someone receives the information. It is my hope that someone receives my testimony, my acknowledgement of God and what he has done in my life.

It is my hope that someone receives my testimony, my acknowledgement of God and what he has done in my life. And though many times I feel that my work, or at least the work that God has inspired in me does not receive the attention that I think it deserves, though there are many times when I feel that my work is neglected, though there are many times when I feel that my voice has fallen on deaf ears, there are also times when I feel that my work matters.

I have received responses from others in the past, which affirm the effectiveness of what I am doing. But I have to ask myself a question. And I ask myself this question daily. Am I doing this work so that I will receive favourable responses? Or am I doing this work because God has put it in my heart and I have to do it no matter what the response is? There is much in my heart, which is not acceptable even to me. I'm not happy regarding my intentions many times. But I do believe that God is at work in me, and that it is he who gets me to do what I eventually do. And as long as he is in me I will not worry about what displeases me because I know that God is pleased with me, with the whole of me, with the unpleasant part of me, with the mess that I think I am. God is pleased with me as messy as I am. Thank you God.